Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the BED BUGS BITE!!!
Ah yes, real travellers fly economy, shower in thongs and get bitten by bed bugs.
I’m not sure exactly where I picked up the little fuckers but I suspect the Amtrak since the bites first appeared while still on the train the morning I arrived in San Francisco. I couldn’t sleep in my seat mainly because there was a rather round lady sitting next to me and partly on me so I got the shits and went downstairs to the games arcade room and went to sleep on the floor. I’m guessing they were hiding in the carpet waiting to suck the blood of an unsuspecting traveller like me.
I first noticed 3 little bites in a row on the outside of my right wrist – initially I was horrified that they might be warts since they were small, hard and just warty-looking. But they were as itchy as all fuck and since I tend to avoid people in general, I couldn’t imagine I’d rubbed up against someones’ herpes. Then over the next 24 hours more and more bites appeared – mostly on my hands and forearms but also on my lower back and legs. There was also more than one bite in a single area – a lot were in a row, like on my wrist, and this is apparently characteristic of bed bug bites. All the bites were different looking as well – some were like the warty things on my wrist, some were like mosquito bites and some were these massive welts. The bites may have looked different but they all itched like motherfuckers. It was like chicken pox itchy. It was terrible.
For like four nights I was paranoid I had brought them with me and I would wake up at some ungodly hour and whip out my torch because I was certain I could feel them crawling on me. Eventually I realised I hadn’t had any new bites since the first ones appeared so I figured I was safe. Check out the damage below:
Pretty impressive – that is my photo taking ability not the bites. Have you ever tried taking a photo with your left hand and you’re right handed of your own arm with an SLR? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Peace out.
This is not your best look. I can only admire your ability to gather photographic evidence. Perhaps this could be used in some medical journal. I hope you have now regained your beauty.
Perhaps the bed bugs were not in the carpet at all. A fellow traveller may have thought you looked all right and cuddled up to you on the floor to have a snooze. Are you sure God’s gift from Seattle wasn’t on the Amtrak too? Sounds like something he may have.