Trials and Tribulations of Trek America – Part II
Vivaaaaaaaaaaaa Las Vegas!
After a little drive across California, we crossed the border into Nevada (if you can’t wait until Vegas, there are casinos on the border where you can get your fix) and then into Las Vegas. TourLeader gave us a quick tour of the Strip where all the punting action is at. The Strip doesn’t look as cool as it does in the movies – everything is much more spread out – and the whole place seems to be in a perpetual state of construction. I wasn’t too impressed when TourLeader informed us that our hotel was some distance from the Strip – not a convenient walking distance so we would have to take a cab, especially at night as it isn’t terribly safe. Nice. We would also have to find our own dinner that evening and then be back at TourLeader’s hotel room for drinkies at 8.30 before our included limo tour at 9.30.
Although the hotel was beginning to show its age, the room was clean and quite spacious. I informed KoreanGirl3 that if she needed to use the bathroom desparately, she better do it quick because I was going to be in there a while. TourLeader had suggested the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner as it was across the road so that’s where I headed after a lengthy shower. When I arrived, I saw TrendyAussieBoy with PommieGirl, PommieBoy, DanishGirl and the Norwegian ladies. Since they didn’t invite me to join them, I invited myself and went and sat at their table. Good thing I did too, because when it came time to pay the bill none of them thought to include their share of the tax or gratuity to make up the total and couldn’t work out why they were short. I mean, really? How these people were able to leave their home and get on a plane when they can’t even read a receipt is beyond me.
Back at the hotel, I got my drinkies ready. TourLeader told us you can drink on the street in Las Vegas so long as its in plastic and not glass. She suggested getting a litre or so plastic water bottle and filling it up with your choice of drink. So that’s what I did, and had a couple while I was doing it. Arriving fashionably late (and last) at TourLeader’s hotel room, I met the rest of the group. We were actually supposed to meet another Trek America group – the tour I went on was from San Francisco to Los Angeles but the same tour also runs from Los Angeles to San Francisco and so another Trek group was also in Las Vegas the same time as us. TourLeader said when this happens, they usually get together and get a bigger limo for both groups as this makes it more fun. However, the other group was running late and TourLeader said some shit about the limo already being there (it wasn’t even 9pm) so drinkies were had on the way out to the limo.
After some happy snaps with the limo, we were joined by the other Trek group and their tour leader, TourLeaderLadiesMan. TourLeaderLadiesMan, as his name suggests, was quite chummy with the ladies and since our group was lacking a bit in the stud department, the Norwegian ladies immediately went on heat. NorwegianBlonde seemed particularly taken with TourLeaderLadiesMan, however, she was getting stuck into the alcohol/leg opener on the limo so may have just been feeling a little friendly in general.
The limo ride was alright – a bit bumpy due to the road works, which made gulping, er I mean sipping, my bubbly a tad difficult. The limo ride ended at the Bellagio Hotel where we were to watch the fountain show before being let loose on the Strip. TourLeader and TourLeaderLadiesMan said they were going to hit Margaritaville and people were welcome to join them so that’s where we all went with our plastic flasks for more drinkies and some dancing.
By this stage, NorwegianBlonde is on the verge of complete and total inebriation and it is clear she is not feeling friendly in general but very much TourLeaderLadiesMan friendly-specific. Meanwhile, her friend NorwegianBrunette appears not even the least bit loaded nor at all concerned with NorwegianBlonde’s sodden state. TourLeader says that she refuses to pay $10 for a drink at Margaritaville when there is plenty of alcohol to be drunk in her hotel room and that she and TourLeaderLadiesMan will get a cab back to the hotel for fresh supplies – if anyone would like to share a cab, they are welcome to come along. Since my plastic flask is spent and my feet are fucking killing me and I would much rather have drinkies in my jammies, I decide to go with them. KoreanGirl3 and the Norwegian ladies also come along.
TourLeader tries to find a cab that will accommodate all six of us as obviously this will make the journey much cheaper. Unfortunately, no taxi is willing or able to do this so we end up taking 2 cabs – TourLeader, KoreanGirl3 and me in one cab while TourLeaderLadiesMan and the Norwegian ladies in another. Our cab driver is a complete tosser – he even has the nerve to call me ‘blondie’. He promptly refrains from this when I beg his fucking pardon and inform him that I’m sober so don’t even think about taking the scenic route. The cab with the other three is in front of ours and at one red light, the back door on the passenger side suddenly flys open for someone to have a good vomit. The light turns green and the door closes but the window goes down just in case. It appears that NorwegianBlonde is not feeling too well.
At the hotel, I get changed into my jammies and meet the others at TourLeader’s hotel room. NorwegianBlonde is now seriously fucked. She can’t talk and walks like she is on a boat in extremely high seas. She goes in and out of the bathroom several times, comes out with half her dress in her knickers and then goes and lies down on the floor in TourLeader’s bedroom. Still not the least bit concerned about her friend, NorwegianBrunette takes the opportunity to hook into TourLeaderLadiesMan. After some friendly chit chat, she gives him a good snogging and then orders him back to her room leaving NorwegianBlonde staggering from the bedroom floor to the bathroom. I’m starting to think that perhaps it is time for NorwegianBlonde to go to bed and TourLeader asks NorwegianBlonde if she would like some help back to her room. NorwegianBlonde says she will be fine (or something to that effect since she talks like she’s had stroke) and staggers off. I follow her as I’m a bit worried she won’t be able to negotiate the stairs up to the next floor on her own but she manages and makes it to her room in one piece.
Next day, I enjoy a good sleep in and some room service before venturing out. Once at the Strip I decide to check out some of the fine establishments. First up, and since it was the first one I came to, was Planet Hollywood. I perused the overpriced shops and then ventured into the casino. It wasn’t terribly exciting and I could only bare to part with $5 which I put in the pokies and got shafted. Not impressed. So then I decided to go to Paris – the casino that is. Paris wasn’t much more exciting than Planet Hollywood, although the shops and restaurant area did have a funky blue sky and clouds painted ceiling that made you feel like you were walking outside. I think it might be for the gambling addicts so that they don’t realise how long they’ve been in the casino and stick around even longer. I decided to have another go at punting to see if I could be a winner instead of a loser. Nope. Shafted again. I then decide to invest my money a little more wisely and take a ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower for some views of the Strip. Pictures included for your viewing pleasure.
TourLeader also told us that aside from punting, the casinos also have great all-you-can-eat buffets. Since I’m a big fan of all-you-can-eat, I decide to hit the Paris buffet. It was ok – there was a variety of things including seafood (the prawns were foul sadly), roast meats and vegies, sushi, antipasto, salads and other ’European’ type stuff. The best thing was the roast chicken and mashed potato, I went back a few times for that. The dessert was also really good and the waitress will even top up your drink for you although my waitress was a little slow, which didn’t impress me as I was thirsty.
After Paris, I cruised the Strip for a bit and then had a look, and got very lost in, Excalubir. It had a completely different vibe to Planet Hollywood and Paris - a much younger crowd for the most part and a lot more bars. I was all punted out and since I was feeling a little full from the Paris buffet, I just had a little wander around. I think this may be how I got lost as it took me FOREVER to get back outside. Once I did find my way out, I was a million miles away from where I came in. TourLeader did warn that the casinos were designed to confuse you if you try to escape and now I believe her.
Peace out.
You have all the makings to be a fine member of the PNC. The PNC likes its members to punt, take risks and hopefully bring in a return. With more practise you will be able to fit all three categories. Of course, all memebers need to be fully prepared to cop the odd shafting. You did well.
PS Not sure a would be PNC member should trust Jesus. Probably the same as trusting a pokie for a pay out.